LYRIC

[telephone rings]


I'll be up in a few! Hello?


Hey, Sid, it's Alex Just callin to wish ya a happy birthday, man


Alex, Alex, thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you
for remembering, thank you


My pleasure Did you do anything fun today?


Nothing special Amy made lasagna, we had cake, the kids
gave me a tie and some socks, terrific


That's awesome, man Hey, I got a gift comin your way too I
Fedex'ed it so you should probly get it tomorrow


[Gasp] Thank you, thank you, Alex, thank you What is it?


It's pretty cool You'll see tomorrow


Aww, come on, give me a hint at least Can I ride it? Can
I eat it?


Nope


Can I fuck it?


Ahaha, no


Can it fuck me?


No


Is it hairy? Is it something I can shave?


No


Can it blow me?


No


Is it something I can blow?


No


Can I fuck it?


You already asked me that


If I take it apart, are there individual parts that I can fuck?


I don't think so


Fair enough If I sit on it for a while, will I cum?


Noooo


Is it something Amy can strap on and fuck me with?


Sid! No!


If I get jizz all over it, will it be ruined?


I think


Does it sweat?


Noo


Is it something that can be used like a pussy?


That's just another way of asking if you can fuck it


My bad Does it get big if you touch it?


No


Does it get hard if you touch it?


Nooo


If my Amy catches me blowing it, will she be mad?


Look, you can't blow it, man, we already talked about that


Right, okay let's say I'm stranded on a desert island with
just this item am I getting a rim job?


NO!


Can I fuck it?


NO, it's a toaster, man, just a toaster!


Oh! So I can fuck it? In fact, two people can fuck it at the
same time! Alex, ya wanna come over and fuck my toaster
this weekend?


Don't mind if i doo doo


Hahaha, oh, Alex


Hahaha, oh, Sid

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Sid & Alex Adam Sandler lyrics in Shhh...Don't Tell album

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