Okay, this is for the people who either live together or have been married for awhile Okay? This is for you

You're giving me a strange look In the mirror
As I brush my teeth [laughter]
I don't know What I could have done wrong
'Cause I literally just woke up [laughter]
Maybe you had a dream That I cheated on you [laughter]
Or you remember something mean I said Like two fucking years ago [laughter]
All I know is that all day long It's gonna be weird [laughter]
Why the hell is she walking past me Without talking?
I told her her hair looked good
And that somehow made things worse
When she picks up the phone She uses a nice voice
But when she hangs up It's back to fucking monotone [laughter]
I see you're reading a book In the kitchen
But she hasn't turned a page In 45 fucking minutes [laughter]
Then I realize I said yesterday
I'd start going on walks with her
But I didn't say it With enough enthusiasm

[Laughter and applause]

Thank you

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