So I'll tell you a little story about Disney World You want to hear a true Adam Sandler Story?
Please, I can Okay
[Cheers and applause] So you guys have been to Disney World, right?
The families have been there Who doesn't have kids and still goes to Disney World? [cheering] You fucking stoners [laughter]
I'm on to you [laughs] All right, so I go to Disney World recently with my wife and the two kids My kids wanted to go on this roller coaster They were very excited So, we wait on the line We're waiting You know the lines are very long So, it takes like an hour and 15 minutes We get to the front of the line, and then the roller coaster, we find out, only takes three people at a time So, there's four of us And I see my wife and the two kids just immediately start walking to the thing And I was like, we're not even gonna flip a coin Not Not even a thought, right? They're like, "No, no" I was like, "Yeah All right" And so, I'm sitting there very angry I'm stewing Like, "I waited a fucking hour and 15 minutes to go on this fucking shit with you guys, and you fucking bail on me" Then I see it happens to some other dad from Oklahoma, and he's muttering He's like, "Goddamn motherfucker They're mean as shit And I'm like, "Yeah, yeah" And then I say to the other dad, I go, "You want fucking me and you to go on it together? And he's like, "What?" I go, "Well, I'm not going alone Let's fucking do this shit I'll go with you" And he's like, "Yeah, whatever the fuck you want" And so [laughs] So I get on the roller coaster with the guy and we're both not talking to each other The roller coaster takes off, and you know how they take off so fucking fast that both our necks snap back, and we look at each other And he's like "Ooh, that got me" I was like, "Oh, yeah, that was fucked up, man" We start laughing a little bit And we're fucking all of a sudden loosening up And we're fucking doing all the jetting, banging into these fucking crazy turns I'm fucking leaning, 100% leaning on the guy He's looking at me like, "What the fuck?" I was like, "Hey, here we are" And we're laughing our asses off And I'm like, "Holy shit, I haven't been this happy in at least 11 years I know that, but whatever, I'm fucking jetting around, fucking doing loop-the-loops He's fucking bumping my first I'm like, "Yeah, motherfucker" He's like, "Yeah, baby" We get to the end The fucking You know how the break comes out of nowhere It fucking screeches on, both our fucking heads snap again He's like, "They got us again I was like, "Fuck yeah, we'll never learn [laughter] So, uh, we're creeping up to, you know, getting off the ride, how it's like a little slow at exit, and we're sitting there, and I'm fucking I feel this crazy pain in my heart, and I'm like, "Did I fucking fall in love with this guy or some shit? What happened? And he's not looking at me I'm like this guy feels it too, 'cause he's in a fucking daze We're both And my kids are like, "Come on, let's go to Peter Pan" I was like, "All right, in a minute" I'm yelling at the kids too loud "I've got to say goodbye to the man" And, uh I get off I go, "Hey, nice to meet you" He's like, "Yeah, nice to meet you" He won't look at me, and we're both all fucked up He goes back to his family, I go back to mine I'm walking away In my head, I'm like, "I'm never gonna see that fucking guy again, and I don't feel good about that Um And then I And then I go "They take your picture though on those rides You know, just for memory's sake Just, what the fuck, I'm gonna go see, maybe they snapped us, maybe they didn't But if they did why not? Fuck it, you know Let's just see" And so, we We go to the, uh I go to that place where there's the fucking monitor up Sure enough, there's a picture of me and the guy, upside down, in the loop-the-loop staring so deep into each other's eyes It was fucking bananas I was like, "Okay, he felt it He definitely felt it too" So, I say to the lady behind the counter, "Hey, how much is that?" And the lady goes, "Sixty-five dollars" I was like, "Oh Okay" And then I take my phone out, and I fucking snap a shot of it And then I feel this energy behind me I look back, and it's the guy from Oklahoma He's holding the picture he just bought And he was like, "I wasn't worth it?" [laughter] So, anyways If that man is watching my Netflix special right now, I think of you a lot, sir I think of you a lot