I did my first dick pic, everybody [cheering] Thank you A dick pick is that's a weird thing to do There's no reason for me to do it I'm fucking married But all my friends are doing them, so I'm like, "What the fuck, let me just at least I can be part of the conversation when they're talking about their dick pics I can go, "Oh, yes, definitely" You know? [laughter] So, I do my first dick pick I look back at it There's a ghost in the background So there's a ghost in the image, and I'm like, "I live in fucking haunted house?" I had no idea I want to show everybody 'cause what are the chances of catching that? But my dick doesn't look as good as I want it to look in the image Plus, you know, the fucking ghost was really tall, so he made my dick not look exact Plus the fucking ghost was holding a ruler next to my dick I was like, "What the fuck is your problem?" to the ghost He was like The ghost was like, "I live here too I like to have fun"